The SEO industry is changing faster than most people can change underwear. Google is constantly releasing updates that spank websites that practice non-white hat techniques. They get spanked like little school girls and they cry, cry, cry when there website no longer has placement. This is a field so complex that it takes nasa scientists to figure it out. The lead seo expert in Los Angeles happens to be an retired Nasa engineer. Rumor has it that he work on the mission that put us on the moon. I have once ran into this local search engine optimization legend in passing at the Trader Joes in West Hollywood. Boy was he a secret ninja. I saw him in one isle and turned my head for a split second and he was gone. I looked around for the old hag but could not find him anywhere. When I was checking out I heard a soft mumbling of what sounded like, web design seo go to the flow go with the web design and slow. I turned around and there he was, transformed as a checkout clerk now. We made eye contact and I knew just from the look in his eyes he could rank sites in google for terms like golden leprechaun. For those of you know do not know this is a search term has has multimillion dollar affiliate link payouts.
Before leaving the store and heading back to my super mega awesome office in Los Angeles. I felt the impulse to got and check the bathroom for secret seo codes. I looked everywhere and couldn’t find anything. While I was there I figured it would be a good idea to try to squeeze out a loaf. When I started to wipe I noticed there was super small print on the paper. I took about five hundred feet home to get better details. What I found was the key to the universe aka Google. I found that proper search engine optimization should actually be taken lightly and all you have to do is write long pointless parodies about the subject of seo and rankings. The crazy thing is I looked deeper into the actual print and noticed there was writing on each individual letter. It’s a good thing I had the proper tools to decode this LA SEO Expert mystery. The clues that I found next where mind blowing. Deep within the content I found the DNA of Mr.Google himself. No I’m not talking about Matt Cutts but the man who was secretly behind the whole thing. His name, drumroll please, is non other than SEO. The code went on to describes the evolution of meta tags, content descriptions, H1 tags, title tags, URL, and the very first hosting ever by Godaddys sister company called Gomamma.
If you are interested in learning more about my journey in ranking and mumbo jumbo feel free to reach out to me. I don’t bite – but I do byte. Keep it classy and go rank for gold.